


Autopilot

by Ionaonie



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, Episode Tag, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Slash, episode s01e18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-23
Updated: 2011-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-27 22:41:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/300819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ionaonie/pseuds/Ionaonie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny doesn't end up quite where he expected. But it's where he needs to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Autopilot

**Author's Note:**

> Betaed by ariadne83 so any remaining mistakes are totally mine.

Danny slid into the Camero feeling utterly drained. He had spent the last hour with Rachel, discussing what they were going to tell Grace because, god, how do you explain to an eight year old that she can never see the uncle she adores again?

Because Danny was having problems wrapping his head around that. No. Scratch that; he hadn’t even begun to try to wrap his head around it.

All he wanted to do was curl up somewhere and hide from the world. He felt all worn out, as if all his fight had been used up surviving Rachel walking out on him and taking his little girl with her. He didn’t think he had anything left to survive never having any contact with Matty again. It had been hard enough not seeing Matt every day after he moved to this sunshine filled, pineapple infested island, but at least they could talk on the phone. Now, nothing. Nada.

He drove home on autopilot, thinking about growing up with Matty; his wonder as his pop had introduced Danny to his baby brother, the pranks they had played on Lisa and Jo, the first time pop had taken them to the fire station, riding their bikes around the neighbourhood, going to Yankee’s games, how proud Danny had been when Matt had graduated college, Matt being his best man - everything and now he had to go home and phone his parents and then his sisters and tell them that Matty was never going to come back from Hawaii.

He killed the engine and rubbed a hand over his face, not even sure he had could get out of the car. Eventually he opened the door, knowing he had to keep moving.

Getting out of the car, he slammed the door closed with perhaps a smidge more force than it deserved. Lifting his head, he stopped dead in his tracks.

Why the fuck was he at Steve’s?

Before his brain could even grind out a reason or he was able to get himself back in his car, the front door was yanked open and Steve appeared in its shadow.

‘Danny?’

No. Seriously. What the hell was he doing here? He should be in his shitty ass apartment, about to tell his parents something even more devastating than his divorce from Rachel.

‘Danny?’

He waved weakly to tell Steve he’d heard and wearily pushed himself off the car. ‘I...I didn’t mean to come here.’

‘But you did so get in the house.’

And Danny was so past being able to argue with anyone tonight that he just walked past Steve and into the house. He followed Steve into the kitchen, watched at he snagged two beers from the fridge.

But then Steve frowned and put the bottles on the counter. He took a step closer, his hand hovering as if he wasn’t quite sure what he was allowed to do. ‘Danny?’

‘He -’ Saying Matt’s name was just too painful right at that moment ‘- told me I had two options: let him go or shoot him.’ He stared right at Steve’s chest. ‘Steve, I couldn’t shoot my brother.’

‘God, Danny,’ said Steve his voice strangled. ‘Of course you couldn’t.’

And before Danny could look up. Move. Anything. Steve had his arms around Danny, pulling him tight against his body.

And, god, it was nothing like the hug he’d had with Rachel. He just sank into Steve’s embrace, wrapping his arms around Steve, needing _something_ to anchor him.

‘Danny,’ Steve murmured into his hair, ‘you did the right thing. Letting him go.’

A bitter laugh escaped Danny’s lips before he could bite down on it. ‘I let a known criminal escape.’

Steve leaned back against the counter, pulling Danny with him. ‘No, you were helping your brother. It’s family.’

‘I should have been there. He would never have done anything this stupid if I’d been in Jersey.’

But Danny was never going to forget that it had been Steve who had given him the opportunity to follow Matt by _lying to the FBI_ and he was never going to be able to adequately express his gratitude, even if it had ended in a clusterfuck.

‘So what were you going to do? Clone yourself? How would you have chosen between Gracie and Matt?’

‘...I...’

‘Because Matt is a grown man who made his own choices in life. He could have asked for your help any time.’

But Steve didn’t get it. Didn’t get how Matty had always needed reining in; had always been over-reaching, thinking he had everything under control, only to find out too late that he didn’t. And Danny had always been there to hit Matt upside the head if he became too convinced of his own invincibility. Except for now. This time. And look where Matty ended up.

‘But...’

‘No, Danny,’ said Steve, his voice low and urgent. ‘I’m not letting you do this. Grace needs you. Not your fault that he couldn’t control the situation. Not. Your. Fault.’

‘You’re not going to shut up until I agree with you, are you?’

‘Nope. And I’m sure Chin and Kono will be willing to help me.’

The notion that his entire team were there for him, waiting to help him and support him, made something shift in his chest, and just like that he could breathe again. While everything was undeniably shitty, and would be for a long time, it seemed possibly manageable now.

Danny squinted up at Steve. ‘Now that’s just kicking a man when he’s down.’

‘It’s looking after family, Danny,’ corrected Steve.

‘Fine. Whatever.’ Shrugging while hugging your partner - Danny wasn’t even going to think about the fact that said hug had now lasted way longer than was appropriate. Way longer. And neither of them was moving - was weird, but Danny managed it remarkably well. ‘Maybe you have a small point. Tiny. Miniscule.’

He sighed, not wanting to move. What he wanted was to stay here and let Steve’s presence reassure him - it wasn’t often that Danny gave in and admitted that he found Steve’s solid presence at his side reassuring in ways he didn’t want to examine too closely, but at the moment he didn’t have the energy to argue with himself - but yeah, had to keep moving.

He pulled slightly away from Steve, already missing the warmth. ‘I have to go, phone my parents. Tell them...God, tell them _something_ ’

Steve twisted his arm behind his back and produced his cordless phone. ‘Do it here.’

‘I can’t.’

Steve looked puzzled. ‘Why not?’

‘Because. Because this will descend into a Williams Family Crisis, which, while appropriate because this is the very definition of a fucking crisis, it will be long, involved and loud. Very, very loud.’

‘That’s okay,’ said Steve and Danny nearly choked on a laugh. Of course Steve thought that was okay.

He looked quizzically at Steve as he felt him tense up and wasn’t exactly surprised to see the blank look on his face as he said, ‘Unless you’d prefer to be alone.’

The thought of having to face his parents devastation on his own made his brain seize up a little bit and it wasn’t until he became aware of Steve rubbing his back in slow, gentle circles, murmuring ‘I’m not going anywhere’ that he realised that he had tightened his hold on Steve.

He forced himself to relax and stepped slightly away from Steve and for about half a second he could swear that Steve looked disappointed but at the moment he didn’t have the space in his head necessary to decipher Steve.

‘Look, uh, you can go to bed if you want. I’m not kidding when I say this will take hours. Morning has just broken in Jersey and my parents will want to hear every detail about a thousand times. They’ll want to know everything he did, everything I did and then they’ll want to hear it all over again.’

‘So? I’ll just keep making you really good coffee.’

And for the record? Steve’s coffee? Was very damn good.

Danny huffed out a sigh that wasn’t anywhere near as exasperated as he wanted Steve to believe he was. Putting out his hand for the phone, he accepted that not only was he going to lose this argument with Steve, he really didn’t want to win it. Because telling his family about what Matt had done was going to be hell - probably worse than watching him get on that plane - but he had a notion that it would be slightly less excruciating with Steve at his side.

So he sat on the couch, with his feet on the table, and dialed home.

And Steve stayed with him the entire time - and Danny couldn’t tell if he was grateful or pissed, because he’d been counting on that coffee Steve had promised him. He stayed with Danny as he explained the situation to his pop. Then when he had to repeat it to his ma, unable to stop the tears as he heard her break down and ended up talking to his pop again for a few moments. And then when he’d had to repeat it again to Lisa because she’d crashed at their parents the night before. And really, it didn’t get any easier, no matter how many times you repeated it. Just made it feel slightly more real.

At some point Danny realised that he was pressed up against Steve, wanting as many points of contact as were possible. While talking to Lisa - listening to her sob, really, and wishing he was there to hold his baby sister and promise her it would all be okay - he realised that he was holding onto Steve’s hand for dear life and was unable to let go. When Steve reached across with his free hand and started rubbing small circles on the back of his hand, Danny decided he didn’t really need to let go.

The sky was already well on its way to being day by the time Danny hung up the phone, promising his family that he’d call back later that day - once he’d actually got some sleep and could talk without mumbling. He took a deep, shuddering breath and collapsed against Steve, who took his weight without a murmur of complaint. ‘Well, that sucked.’

Steve hummed in agreement before standing, pulling Danny with him. He wasn’t really expecting to be standing, so his knees failed to lock and he stumbled, nearly falling over. Would have done if Steve hadn’t steadied him.

‘Hey! I was going to sleep on that couch,’ protested Danny. Because him in a car, on the roads in the state he was in could only end in disaster.

Steve snorted, hand still warm on Danny’s elbow. ‘You’re sleeping in a bed.’

‘But-’

‘But nothing.’

‘Look, I need to be up in a few hours for work, so it’s not like it’s worth going up the stairs.’

‘We’re taking tomorrow off,’ said Steve pushing him towards the stairs.

‘We are?’ asked Danny, dragging himself up the stairs so Steve didn’t go any more caveman on him.

‘Already talked to Chin and Kono,’ said Steve, steering Danny into...into Steve’s room.

He blinked. Normally when he stayed at Steve’s he crashed in the spare room. ‘Ummm...’ Because he _really_ couldn’t think of the right way to phrase what he wanted to ask.

‘You’re sleeping, Danny. If I leave you alone you’ll spend the night soundly beating yourself up.’ He glanced at Danny and tilted his head. ‘Well, beating yourself up more than you already have.’

‘Probably,’ allowed Danny, because he couldn’t really argue with the truth right at that moment.

‘Shirt, tie, pants off,’ ordered Steve.

And really, Danny was going to tell him to fuck off with all the ordering, but instead he found himself doing just that, taking a couple of steps to the bed, and faceplanting onto the pillows, Steve pulling the sheets back just in time.

He breathed in the fresh scent of Steve’s pillows, his brain already shutting down. Despite what Steve said, he knew he should stay awake, worry about where Matt was, who he was with, what he was doing, how the fuck he’d gotten mixed up with a drug cartel and how he was going to stay alive long enough for Danny to pound some sense into him. Apparently, though, his body didn’t agree with that because he could feel everything falling away. Well, it wasn’t like it wouldn’t all still be there when he woke up.

He felt the other side of the bed dip and a second later Steve wrapped an arm around his waist, essentially making Danny the little spoon. Bastard. And was he really more bothered about the fact he was the little spoon than the fact he was spooning with Steve. His boss. Apparently he was. It was just that kind of night. But, feeling entirely too tired to articulate anything he just went with it when Steve nosed the base of his neck and linked their fingers together over Danny’s stomach and murmured ‘Go to sleep, Danny.’


End file.
